“The BEST ‘worst’ game Michigan has ever played!”

To paraphrase a often-repeated quote, you can take the sportswriter out of the press box, but you can never take the press box experience out of the retired scribe.

For more than 30 years, the press box was my second home (often my first since I probably ate more meals there than I did in my own house, apartment or trailer). I knew the whereabouts of any Texas high school stadium (mostly by looking for those proverbial Friday night lights) and I always judged collegiate press boxes by sight lines (Texas A&M is the worst; Texas is excellent), food (the old U-M press facility when I covered game only served bad, BAD hot dogs and lousy tasteless burgers and was almost as bad as the Tex-Mex fare Rice University used to dish out) and chair comfort (A&M DID offer soft, padded chairs on wheels).

But that life is long behind me; I do my football observations from my easy chair in front of my trusty non-HD, non-widescreen television. And at my side, as I had back in the day, is a legal pad and pen. I take continuous notes from start to finish – to remind myself of salient points I wish to make later and to gain a sense of the game’s tone.

So what will follow is (I swear) what I put to paper Saturday night … but not necessarily word-for-word (that would put y’all to sleep faster than the new NBC fall schedule).  

“Irish uniforms don’t look THAT bad … and Michigan helmets DID sport that small numeral in the late 1950s and early 60s.”

“Must control Manti Te’o to win … but didn’t do it on second play from scrimmage.” (For the most part, he wasn’t a major factor).

“Michael Floyd (Irish receiver) is the best damn receiver in the country; he’s ALWAYS kills us … make sure he’s a senior already!”

“ND is killing our defense; making everything look too easy. No pressure, no coverage … just like last week, but this ISN’T Western Michigan. Their quarterback is entirely too comfortable in the pocket.”

“Vincent Smith just looks too small to play against these behemoths – the entire defensive line averages more than 300 pounds. Smith looks like a JV runner in size.”

“Notre Dame scores again, 14-0 …walked into EZ (end zone) too EZ (easy). The Irish are looking like the team Charlie Weis wanted all along. Poor Charlie!”

“Where is Fitzgerald Toussaint?” (a question repeated throughout the game notes I made; no answer came).

“Poor field position hurting Michigan all during this half; combined with ineffective offense is not good prescription.”

“BIG interception by Jordan Kovacs! Seems as if the turnover problem that plagued Notre Dame last week wasn’t corrected by its staff…more red face reactions from Brian Kelly to come!”

“What a great individual effort by Junior Hemingway … no relation of Ernest … or Tom … for TD! But why are we only going long on every throw? Denard is overshooting most of his receivers.” (DR only completed 11 of 24 passes for 338 yards and I can hardly remember one short completion).

“If this is a throwback game, why aren’t the coaches wearing coats and ties? And does on official has a striped ball cap instead of the funky white hats one only sees in open classic touring cars? And the retro “M” logo doesn’t work – too skinny. It’s the BLOCK ‘M’ not the Jenny Craig ‘M’.”

“We cannot cover Michael Floyd one-on-one; our defensive backs are just too small and too short. He’s open anytime he wants to be.”

“JT Floyd with a huge interception on a poorly-throw pass. You got lucky, babe, as Tom Petty sings.”

 

“Mike Tirico lives in Ann Arbor??? Bet he wanted the world to know that.”

“Sorry, but Kirk Herbstreit makes me want to hurl. Does his being a Buckeye have ANYTHING to do with it?”

“Field goal gives ND 17-7 halftime lead. We’re lucky to be THAT close!”

 “The key about Bo-coached teams were the great second-half adjustments he and the staff made at halftime. His teams always got better in the third and fourth quarters; sadly, under Rich Rodriguez, it was the reverse. We wilted often in fourth quarters.”

“Why do I think we can still win this game???? What are they putting in Pepsi Max?”

“Nice defensive stand to open third quarter, but still losing field position battle.”

“Has anyone told Delta Faucets the REAL meaning of the music they choose for its commercial??? – ‘Willie and the Hand Jive’ If they used Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax,” it would mean the same thing…” (Think about it).

“We still lack a running game not named Denard … and the play calling isn’t asking him to run.”

“Well, well, a third Notre Dame turnover; it’s the best defense UM has … because defense isn’t doing enough.”

“Damn, an immediate interception; why are we only going deep on every pass play?”

“Announced attendance is 114,804; can’t you just smell the money!”

“Second holding penalty on a kickoff return …too many mistakes there.”

“HUGE play to Hemingway for 77 yards …I don’t understand why we aren’t lined up and ready to run the third-down play instead of wasting final 17 seconds in third quarter?”

“I need my nitroglycerine pills … Denard recovers fumble and scores from 1. Be still my all-too-fast beating heart!”

“Our D-line is being beaten up by ND; big stop by M-7; how is Brandin Hawthorne?? Where did he come from on the depth chart.” (Third string to be exact).

“Shanked punt; now Irish collar tightening…nice touch pass to Gallon for TD … but our kickoffs are still WAY TOO SHORT!”

“Still an eternity to play (10:00) …Notre Dame QB burning time outs way too fast … that could cost them.”

“Poor Woolfolk; walking MASH unit.”

“Come on…phantom pass interference flag in end zone …wasn’t going to be caught …oops FUMBLE! Turnover number 4!”

“Bad holding penalty wipes out first down … another great play by Hemingway …star of game for UM so far … and roughing call, great opp for U-M …bad choice for target; Gallon too small to play jump ball and intercepted. Damn!”

“Nice punt return by Gallon, but miss Stonum back there…still overthrowing everyone. Big reception to Kelvin Grady; only 1:34 to play and we can win this thing!”

“Screen…Smith…ND missed him … TOUCHDOWN! WOW! Don’t believe what I just saw (sorry Jack Buck).”

“Need defense … oy, pass interference covering Michael Floyd … oy, another completed pass …Irish will get his with red zone syndrome again … dammit oy, (Theo) Riddick scores and was wide open. Only 30 seconds left. To let this happen after coming from so far back … damn!”

“Not even an Al Michaels miracle can help us now.”

“0:23 … what? Gallon slips past two ND tacklers … DOWN TO THE ND 16!!!!! Eight seconds to play!”

“Denard to … ROUNDTREE. OMG! TOUCHDOWN!!!! :02 to play!!!!!! What just happened?!?!?”

“When Irish eyes are crying … We’re 2-0; they are 0-2 and play Michigan State next week. Oh, my!”

“This is by far the BEST ‘worst’ game Michigan has ever played! It’ll go down in history!”

These old bones are too tired to continue. Time for rel competition next week – the 2-0 Eastern Michigan Hurons (sorry, you’ll NEVER EVER NEVER get me to call them Eagles; I am old school and in Ypsilanti, it was, and always shall be, THE HURONS!).

More proof I'm getting REALLY old

If he were still alive, singer Freddie Mercury, he of the seminal rock group Queen and considered by many to be the greatest (and most dynamic) lead singer of ANY band, would have been ... 65 today!!!!!!
Damn, I AM getting old! I'll just hum "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Hoke-amania survives Tropical Storm ‘Zoo

More than 100,000 people will remember where they were, and under what section of Michigan Stadium they hid, when Coach Brady Hoke won his first game at Wolverine head coach. In an encounter that will go down for its brevity and its disastrous weather, Michigan opened the Hoke era with a 34-10 defeat of Western Michigan on Saturday (with the contest called with 1:27 left in the third quarter).

Led by two astonishing touchdowns by senior linebacker Brandon Herron on defensive plays (a 94-yard interception return, the longest since 1948, and a 29-yard fumble return after a crushing Jordan Kovacs blast to WMU quarterback Alex Carder), Michigan was able to survive a testy Broncos squad and establish its dominance before the skies opened and delivered a downpour of Biblical proportions.

To say it was a game of two halves would be a shameful understatement. In the first half, it was all about ball control on both sides until Western’s Carder forced a bad throw, due to the bull rush of defensive end Jake Ryan, which was grabbed by Herron at his 6. He lugged the ball, and a refrigerator for the final 20 yards, to burst WMU’s bubble.

The first half was also played in Texas-like weather conditions – hot (field temps ranging from 121-133 degrees) and unbearably muggy. Those of us in the Lone Star State know such conditions are standard for September for Saturday football, but that can’t be said for Michigan and the Midwest. Players were drenched with sweat for the first 30 minutes.

But following halftime, the rains came and the first of two 30-minutes delays were announced by the officiating crew. When play resumed, Herron produced his second touchdown and WMU seemed more interested in finding shelter from the Maize and Blue storm.

While the pass coverage still is a work in progress, the appearance of a lost commodity over the past three seasons – sustained pressure – was a welcome sight in the Big House. It is also interesting to note than Herron is one of the last remnants of the Lloyd Carr era.

Offensively, Michigan did not turn the ball over, was efficient in its offense in the first half, producing an 8 ½ minute opening drive and averaged 7.3 yards per carry on the ground (189 yards total). Quarterback Denard Robinson completed 9 of 13 attempts for 98 yards, and for the most part seemed comfortable in this adjusting offense. He rushed for 46 yards on only 8 carries and his slip-slidin’ away talent was only needed 2-3 for first-down conversions.

The other “star” of the game had to have been redshirt sophomore Fitzgerald Toussaint, out of Youngstown, Ohio, who appears to combine strength (he bulled his way for two touchdowns inside the 2), speed, and the ability NOT to run sideline-to-sideline; a Wolverine back who ran up the middle for a change. Senior Michael Shaw completed the abbreviated scoring with a 44-yard scamper and if this 1-2 punch will perform in this fashion, things are definitely going to be looking up in Ann Arbor this season.

Two negatives did emerge from the game – yet another injury to defensive back Troy Woolfolk, this time to his other ankle. It’d be a shame if this talented, dedicated young man was forced to seek a sixth season for medical hardship, but he just cannot seem to stay healthy for an entire season.

And I can assure you emphasis WILL be placed on special teams this coming week, ahead of the Notre Dame “Under the Lights” game. UM surrendered an average of more than 31 yards per kickoff return and an extra-point kick was blocked on Michigan’s third touchdown. The question of who will kick field goals hasn’t been broached yet.

But a win is still a win; the attitude appeared to be different on the Michigan sidelines. Defensive coordinator Greg Mattison looked as if he was in total control and after Western’s initial, clock-eating drive, the proper adjustments were made and that was that. No Wolverine fans could say the same for the prior three seasons.

It must have been something to see – not only the ushering of the Hoke regime, but the weather forcing a game to be prematurely canceled. In my 40-plus years of following Michigan football, this HAD to be the worst conditions since … the famed 1950 Snow Bowl at Ohio State. And Michigan won that game, too. Nothing I can remember comes close.

Also, surfing the dial during the lightning delays, I saw the Big Ten Network broadcasting the Nebraska-Chattanooga game. I freely admit to feeling a little strange seeing the Huskers as a Big Ten affiliate. That will take a bit of getting used to, as they say in Texas.

But, considering the problems Notre Dame had with South Florida (how sweet was it seeing a coach named Holtz (Skip) dismantle the Irish to the point where boos reigned down from the sky at halftime), next week, and the weeks after that, are looking better and better.

Got me them old college football realignment blues

Howdy … y’all might have heard ‘bout this little spat down here in Texas between them Aggies of Texas A&M and … darn near everyone else they face on the gridiron. Actually, their beef is with the Big 12 Conference (which only has 10 members which is as close to the true as Richard Nixon ever got) … and, in particular (pronounced par-TICK-ah-lah), the Texas Longhorns (pronounced in Aggieland as little t, little u).

A&M is fixin’ to get its butt out of the Big 12 Conference because it’s not a happy camper ... or campus. Them Aggies are madder than a bunch of liberals in Rick Perry’s prayer group; they are tired of being the lil’ brother to the ‘Horns and being told what to do, who they cannot recruit (after Texas is finished getting advance football commitments for the next seven years) and why A&M gets no respect (you’d think the football stadium would be named after Rodney Dangerfield).

A&M is tired of fussin’ and feudin’ with Texas and wants out; it has been wanting to join the Southeastern Conference even since the Big 12 was formed out of the old Big 8 and Southwest Conference (they existed in the years termed B.C. – Before Cable). However, the SEC is playing coy like a girl playing hard to get from some beau.

All sorts of news outlets are reporting the obvious and all parties involved are denying the obvious … yet it’s the biggest non-secret in these parts since someone discovered it tends to be hot around here. Texas A&M will be playing its final season as a Big 12 member and will hop, skip and jump its way into new territory, controlled by a new set of schools and rules (oops, there’s yet another UT with orange as its base color).

There’s no doubt that the University of Texas IS the big dog in this big state. And nothing barks louder than the debut of the new Longhorn Network (in contract with ESPN), which will help fill their pockets like Clyde Barrow used to do decades ago. It was a shrewd move by the UT brain trust and one of the few schools in this area to have the will and overall strength of athletic program to pull it off.

Texas even controls high school athletics in this state, since all extra-curricular activities (as well as academic contests) fall under the umbrella of the University Interscholastic League (UIL). Wanna guess which “university” it means? The UIL is housed in Austin, most championships (except for football) are staged in, and around, Austin … often on UT facilities (and never in College Station). As it is said, “You do the math.”

People in the Midwest have tasted this recipe already with the advent of the Big Ten Network; it’s the model for what Austin is doing and what all other conferences wish they could do. The BTN has developed 24/7 programming, spotlighting each school, ALL sports (from gymnastics to wrestling to hockey to basketball AND football on Saturdays). And it has meant LOTS of money going into the coffers of each member institution.

The song sings “Money changes everything,” and it has in college athletics, notably football, the bell cow of the herd. When one school, or conference, hits on a profitable idea, others scramble to copy it; it’s worse than Hollywood making endless sequels within a film franchise instead of actually creating anything new and original.

It’s ALL about the money – from conference alignments to network presentations to the scandals engulfing various schools. Collegiate sports (meaning just football and men’s basketball) are drowning over who gets paid (institution and/or athlete) and who is doing the paying (regardless of the sleaze factor).

But A&M’s tantrum, and subsequent decision, has also produced a national problem. Another school will have to join the SEC to balance its competition schedule and someone will have to move into that empty Big 12 slot (and SMU or Houston are NOT big time programs on ANY level). That will have to come from other conferences who, in turn, will have to make adjustments of their own. It’s going to be a gigantic mess … again!

What is gonna have to happen, eventually, is a college football landscape divided evenly by region – West, South, Midwest and East. If it were up to us Texans, we’d call them the Hippie Dippie Conference, the Stars and Bars Gonna Rise Again Conference, the Flyover the Rust Belt Conference and the Media Elite Conference.

Grouping would be simple; every school west of the Texas-Nebraska-Oklahoma-Kansas line would be placed in the West (all of the old Pac 12/14, Utah schools, New Mexico). Schools south of the Mason-Dixon line, that resembled the old Confederacy (or continue to act like it) would be naturally paired together; it would include the SEC, most of the ACC, parts of Conference-USA and the South division of the Big 12/10/9. A school like TCU would stop foolin’ itself into thinking it has anything in common with its new Big East neighbors.

The Midwest schools, including Notre Dame, would join one another (mostly the Big 10, MAC and some from Conference-USA). The dividing line would be central Pennsylvania so Penn State would be considered Midwest by birth.

The East would see everyone not associated in the other three divisions, but no one will care if Temple, Rutgers or Maryland plays anyway. The Ivy League can do what it wishes since it thinks it’s above the sport to even offer scholarships or be involved in those dirty little post-season bowl games.

From this alignment, y’all can easily produce a playoff system to avoid the rest of us from having to find alternative programming in December to bowl games played in Shreveport, Detroit, Mobile or Clovis, N.M. And schools, like A&M, can stop whinin’ and cryin’ about who’s got all the money and who’s not playing nice in the sandbox with the other children.

In the meantime, the times they will be a-changin’ between these two bitter rivals. The traditional Thanksgiving weekend battle is totally in doubt after this November; it won’t be the same if the schools meet in early September. And for a state that often revels in its past, possessing such an uncertain future has to be disturbing.

Because everything known about rivalries, especially here in Texas, will change permanently. The time-honored College Station tradition of having the 12th Man crowd at Kyle Field, singing the vaunted “Aggie War Hymn,” won’t be the same against Mississippi State, Vanderbilt or Auburn.

I cannot imagine how these lyrics will be relevant anymore:

Good bye to texas university

So long to the orange and the white

Good luck to dear old Texas Aggies

They are the boys who show the real old fight

"the eyes of Texas are upon you"

That is the song they sing so well

So good bye to texas university

We're gonna beat you all to…

Chigaroogarem, Chigaroogarem

Rough, Tough, Real stuff, Texas A&M

Saw varsity's horns off

Saw varsity's horns off

Saw varsity's horns off

Short! A!

Varsity's horns are sawed off

Varsity's horns are sawed off

Varsity's horns are sawed off

It’ll be hard to obsess like that over … Gators. But it will be goodbye.

The heat is on … and will be on next year

As I type this little memo, it’s over 100 degrees in the Metroplex region (Dallas-Fort Worth) of Texas, where I live … and where, in one year’s time, the Michigan football team will venture forth to Cowboys Stadium (in Arlington) to play Alabama. And as I type, the thermometer reading in Detroit is 75 degrees.

That’s a BIG difference and when the Wolverines fly south for the (typically unbearable) summer, it might well affect their performance on that night.

Just so you’ll know: we are having the second hottest summer EVER and racing like the dickens to break the all-time record of 100-degree days (it stands at 60; we are closing the gap at 54 presently). It’s nasty, it’s depressing and it’s discouraging to live in such misery in places NOT named Phoenix. Dallas is NOT a desert community but, judging by the looks of my lawns and the many watering restrictions in place, it’s acting like one.

Unless you wish to fly in, see the ballgame and leave Sunday morning, you will have to spend SOME time in our confines – so be ready to sweat A LOT! It won’t be AS humid as southern Alabama, down by the Gulf Coast city of Mobile (which affects the entire state), but you could be involved in another “hot” streak. You know it’s too damn hot when it tolls midnight and it’s closer to 100 than it is to 90 degrees.

While there IS a roof on the “Death Star” (the nickname many have placed on Jerry Jones’ monstrosity), it will STILL be extremely warm and muggy and uncomfortable for anyone in attendance. No one is allowed to tailgate in the traditional Midwestern fashion (no open flames allowed because of ongoing drought and fire hazard), no coolers/picnic bags allowed inside the joint (you want food? Buy it at ridiculously jacked-up prices) and if you have seats above the first two levels, either bring high-powered binoculars or a two-way radio to someone sitting in those lower sections to tell you what’s happening on the field.

Remember, this is the same venue that kicked out legitimate ticket holders for the last Super Bowl because the stadium and idiot contractors couldn’t get it together to complete “temporary” seating in places where no seats were meant to be. And get ready to pay for parking through the nose (in excess of $25) because you’ve got TO drive to the game; there is NO mass transit of ANY kind from either Dallas or Fort Worth (no bus, no light rail, no nothing). In fact, there’s only 1-2 actual roadways to Cowboys Stadium and it could, literally, take hours to go from Point A to Point B.

When the contract was signed, I’m not sure U-M AD Dave Brandon completely thought this affair through. After all, that was one coach ago, one major recruit ago (who switched to Alabama and then promptly tore the ACL in his knee) … and two seasons ago (after the completion of Brady Hoke’s first go-round). There are going to be many chances happening in the Michigan athletic department and most of them will centered around … MONEY!

But I cannot help but wonder about all those fans expected to flock from Michigan to Jerry’s World and what kind of game-time experience they will have. The color of money is certainly alluring but at what price??? See you next September!

More tribal members

Add the following names:
Lauren Cohan ("Chuck"), Laura Prepon ("That 70s Show ... both girls were "tribal"), Jaime Lynn Sigler ("Sopranos", Tony's little girl ... who knew?), Marla Sokoloff ("The Practice"), Michelle Trachtenberg ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer"), Evan Rachel Wood (Marilyn Manson's ex), Elizabeth Berkley ("Saved by the Bell," "Showgirls"), Brooke Burke (model/TV host "Dancing with the Stars"), Jennifer Connally ("A Beautiful Mind"), Sarah Michelle Gellar ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer" ... Buffy AND her sister are Jewish ... do vampires die when hit with a Star of David???), Maggie Gyllenhaal ("Secretary", "Crazy Heart"), Kate Hudson "Almost Famous"), Samantha Harris (early TV host "Dancing with the Stars"), Chelsea Handler (comedienne), Ginnifer Goodwin ("Big Love"), "Amanda Peet (actress and major hottie), Winona Ryder (born Horowitz and Lindsay Lohan mentor), Gwyneth Paltrow ("Shakespeare in Love"), Leah Remini (TV wife for Kevin James), Alicia Silverstone ("Clueless"), Nikki Ziering (Playboy model), another convert.
And as contributed from friends ... Liz Taylor (convert), Marilyn Monroe (convert), Lauren Bacall, directly related to Shimon Peres (was Bogie the ultimate shegitz?) and Cyd Charisse (out of that well-known haven of Jews, Amarillo, Texas)...
Dyan Cannon was BORN Jewish but she's a real devout goyim Catholic... she uncoverted.
Who knew????

Jewish girls NEVER looked like this …

Surfing the Internet proves a zillion opportunities to learn something….seriously.

The other day, I discovered that one of the most gorgeous women in Hollywood – actress Mila Kunis – she of “That 70s Show” and “The Story of Eli” and “Friends With Benefits” fame – is …. (wait for it) … Jewish!

I said to myself, “Self, this shiksa is Jewish?!?!”

Indeed, this Russian-born hottie is, as they say, a member of the tribe. And as I surfed further and farther, I learned she was not alone as a team player. Scarlett Johansson (“Lost in Translation”) is Jewish; as is Rachel Bilson (“The O.C.”), Amanda Bynes, Rashida Jones (“Parks and Recreation”), Rachel Weisz (Oscar-winner and in the two “The Mummy” remakes), Emmauelle Chriqui (“Entourage”) and … of course, Jerusalem-born Natalie Portman, the Oscar winner for “Black Swan.” Add to the list a convert, very blonde but now very Jewish Elizabeth Banks (“Zack and Mimi Make a Porno” and “Invincible”).

I said to myself, “Self, where were these women when I was young and full of life and single and hornier than a TCU mascot?”

Either in public school, my neighborhood in Detroit on at my temple did I ever, EVER see anyone who even approached any of these extremely attractive and (I must say) non-semetic looking Jewish women. They either possessed a nose emblematic of Barbra Streisand (who IS stunning, actually, even at her current age) or looked too much like Joan Rivers (who would frighten blind people).

Aside from the ever-present Jewish-American princes syndrome that forever gripped young women of the day (an inherited disease passed along through the mother), there was a missing quality about most of them – sexiness. I seldom looked at a Jewish girl, even in high school, and thought, “WOW!” I know I was not anyone’s Cary Grant (not Jewish) or John Garfield (real name: Julius Garfinkel, VERY Jewish), but I knew what I liked back then and no one tipped the scales like they do today.

One biography intrigued me; Rashida Jones is Jewish because her mother is Jewish. But how can that be? She’s the daughter of musician Quincy Jones and former 60s “Mod Squad” beauty Peggy Lipton – the quintessential California shiksa blonde (long hair, willowy features, mysterious eyes). Peggy Lipton?!?! JEWISH?!?!!? How could I not know? Why didn’t someone tell me for goodness sake?

My research simply proves that no one can judge a book, or a Torah (reader), by its cover. I just wish the covers looked as good back then as they do today.

Oy vay! I knew I liked the “Mod Squad” for SOME reason…

Another childhood sign goes up in smoke

Yet ANOTHER sad sign of my childhood, or anyone having grown up in Detroit, Mich., has been destroyed.
This from today's (August 15) Freep.com:
Detroit’s iconic giant stove, on the old Michigan State Fairgrounds, was destroyed by fire during Saturday’s thunderstorms.
“It’s one of the major icons, I think, kind of like the big tire out on I-94,” said Michigan photographer and historical photo collector Jan Kaulins, who has studied the background of the metal-and-wood stove. “Just a bit of our history, something that’ll never be replaced. No one’s going to build another 'World’s Biggest Stove.' ”
Detroit firefighters said they had seen a lot of lightning strikes in the vicinity of the giant stove at the old Michigan State Fairgrounds at 8 Mile and Woodward just before the fire was called in at 9:05 p.m. Saturday, Acting Captain Pat McNulty said.
When crews arrived, the stove was fully engulfed in flames, he said.
The stove was destroyed.
The stove, a 25-foot-tall replica of a Garland model built by the Michigan Stove Co., was created for the 1893 Exposition in Chicago, according to Kaulins.
Around that time, Detroit was known as the center of the stove-building industry. After the expo, the stove was moved to the entrance of Belle Isle, then to the fairgrounds in 1965, Kaulins said.

Tribute to a true Michigan MAN

It’s the middle of August and the Michigan football season is upon us, but I need to stop and say a word about a wonderful Michigan man who passed away in June, but only today did I discover the news.

On June 29, Newt Loken passed away in Eugene, Ore. at the age of 92. And, believe me, those were 92 of the best yeas ANYONE ever spent on earth.

Even though he spent his collegiate competitive years at Minnesota, Newt embodied EVERYTHING you’d want out of a Michigan Man – spirit, drive, desire and accomplishment.

From AD Dave Brandon’s blog, he wrote this: “In Michigan athletic lore, certain names are immediately identifiable with the sport. Red Berenson is hockey, Cazzie Russell is basketball, Matt Mann is swimming, Cliff Keen is wrestling, Carol Hutchins is softball and in football, there are Bo, Fritz, Fielding, etc. In men’s gymnastics, it is Newt Loken.”

He earned Big 10 and NCAA titles at Minnesota in a sport long since forgotten – trampoline. But, starting in 1948, Loken became synonymous with Michigan gymnastics, winning 12 Big 10 championships and four NCAA titles (two for gymnastics, two for trampoline). His dual meet record as a coach was 240-71-1 (a .771 winning percentage) and coached 20 individual national champions.

He was the school’s longest tenured coach until his “retirement” in 1983. The word is used loosely because the man was a ball of energy 24/7. When I worked with him (during my time in Sports Information), he seemed to be the guy who was over-caffeinated … but didn’t touch a drop of it. He was simply always … “ON!”

And he loved his sport and forced you, through his sheer will, to love it as well. He literally bounced when he walked into our offices and no matter what he requested, you simply could NOT say no to him. All that I know about gymnastics (which, I admit, is limited but enough to watch the sports semi-informed), I earned from Newt.

Perhaps his most visible moments to Michigan football fans came annually at Homecoming. Newt had been the cheerleading coach for years, back in the day when it was an all-male squad. The tradition of doing backflips off the short brick wall in the north end zone after a Michigan score began with Newt and he would join in the celebration, well into his AARP years, at those Homecoming affairs, with his former squadmates.

Most people probably don’t know that he earned his master’s and doctorate at Michigan and taught kinesiology, again until retiring in 1983. He was a terrific public speaker and author. But it was his energy (and perpetual smile) that most people remember.

According to Brandon, until his family moved him to Eugene a year ago, Loken NEVER missed a home gymnastics meet…for 61 years! And he visited the Wolverines’ gym every Monday after his retirement, visiting with coaches and young protégées.

“He absolutely lived Michigan; his kindness, energy, pep and spirit were amazing,” Brandon added in his blog. “Newt Loken made you feel good. Today, his memory made me smile once more.”

I hope they honor Newt before one of the home football games and have a permanent remembrance connected with one of the U-M facilities. Because men like Newt Loken don’t pass through Ann Arbor all that often.

From 'Bad News Bears' to just "Bad News'

David Pollock, who was in the classic movie, "The Bad News Bears," (the 1976 original with Walter Matthau and Tatum O'Neal and Jackie Earle Haley...), has decided to join another team of misfits - Congress. The 50-year-old California with an MBA from UCLA anad a degree from Pepperdine, played inept pitcher Rudi Stein, with Coke-bottle glasses and the inability to hit anything, in the movie.
But now he's a Democrat and wants to be a member of Congress.
Good luck to all that!

First Hoke decision wisest of all options

The very first major player personnel decision by new Michigan head football coach Brady Hoke instantly demonstrates the difference between the new regime in Ann Arbor and the former head coach for the previous three years.

Following his second guilty plea for DWI in the past three-plus years at U-M, senior wide receiver Darryl Stonum will be in reserve for the next campaign … as in redshirt … no playing … no suiting up … no involvement.

Hoke has laid down the law and is removing a potential problem from the lockerroom during his initial season – something I guarantee you would NOT have happened had Rich Rodriguez still been Michigan’s coach.

“While it would be great to have Darryl on the field this season, we feel it is in his best interest and the best interest of our program for him to redshirt,” Hoke stated in a press release from the U-M athletic department. “Darryl will continue to be an important part of our team and family. He has done everything we have asked him to do, but our number one priority is to help Darryl grow as a person.”

How refreshing to hear from a major collegiate program. It’s not like Stonum was some sort of spare part to the Wolverine offense; he was second on the team in receiver last year and is a devastating kick returner. He’ll be missed but Hoke’s decision is for the young man’s own good and shouts out that certain behavior will NOT be tolerated within the program (anyone in Columbus or East Lansing listening?).

And Stonum isn’t the only player to be served notice. Sophomore punter Will Hagerup is out for the first four games of this season and wide receiver Terrence Robinson is gone for the season opener against Western Michigan – again for violation of team rules.

Hagerup got his butt suspended for the Ohio State game by Rodriguez last year, (leaving his team without anyone who could punt and it showed). But Hagerup suited up for the ill-fated Gator Bowl. Hoke did not say if this suspension was for a new infraction or based on the previous happening.

Still … one has to wonder what is going on inside this young man’s head…

The Hagerup situation opens the door for true freshman kick Matt Wile, out of Hoke’s old stomping grounds of San Diego, providing an extraordinary opportunity to seize both jobs in the season’s early stages.

“In order to build a championship-caliber culture, you have to be accountable to each other on and off the field,” Hoke further stated. “There are expectations at the University of Michigan you must live up to.”

It’s so nice to hear or read those words … finally. I cannot state that RichRod would have been so severe in HIS punishment because it always seemed as if things were done with RR’s future in mind, first and foremost; U-M tradition came second. As we’ve ALL seen this off-season, when you suspend ethics and you throw class out the window, you’ll do anything … and allow anyone to play … if it results in a victory.

I want for Michigan to win every time ANYONE representing that school steps onto the field, pool, court or diamond. But if it means sacrificing honor or morals to achieve it, it doesn’t mean the same.

Brady Hoke just announced, in the clearest terms, such properties mean EVERYTHING!

Go Blue!

Another sad day for America...

Below is a Washington Post staff/wire service report on the ceremony to close Walter Reed Army Medical Center. If you served in the U.S. Army, and were wounded, there's a good chacne you went through WRAH. That facility will soon be a thing of the past, consolidating in Bethesda.
I'm sure it's all for the budgetary betterment of active soldiers, but a piece of American history will go by the wayside.
Walter Reed holds closing ceremony

Walter Reed Army Medical Center, the Army’s flagship hospital where privates to presidents have gone for care, lowered its unit flags today, readying for an actual closing in September after more than a century.
Army parachutists landed with pinpoint accuracy on the front lawn of the storied medical center, minutes after a formal ceremony in which Army Maj. Gen. Carla G. Hawley-Rowland, head of the North Atlantic Regional Medical Command and Walter Reed Army Medical Center, handed over Walter Reed’s saber to Navy Rear Adm. Matthew Nathan, who will be the first commander of the new Walter Reed National Military Medical Center at Bethesda.
“This BRAC (Defense Base Closure and Realignment Commission) has been painfully difficult at times, but it’s given us a chance to shape the future of military medicine,” Hawley-Rowland said.
Hundreds of thousands of the nation’s war wounded, from World War I to today, have received treatment at Walter Reed, including 18,000 troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. President Dwight D. Eisenhower died there. So did Gens. John J. Pershing and Douglas MacArthur.
It’s where countless celebrities, from Bob Hope to quarterback Tom Brady, have stopped by to show their respect to the wounded. Through the use of medical diplomacy, the center also has tended to foreign leaders.
The storied hospital, which opened in 1909, was scarred by a 2007 scandal about substandard living conditions on its grounds for wounded troops in outpatient care and the red tape they faced. It led to improved care for the wounded, at Walter Reed and throughout the military. By then, however, plans were moving forward to close Walter Reed’s campus.
Two years earlier, a government commission, noting that Walter Reed was showing its age, voted to close the facility and consolidate its operations with the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda and at a hospital at Fort Belvoir.
Former and current patients and staff members said good-bye at the ceremony on the parade grounds in front of the main concrete and glass hospital complex. Most of the moving will occur in August, with a deadline for moving all patients by Aug. 31. On Sept. 15, the Army hands over the campus to the new tenants: the State Department and the District of Columbia. The buildings deemed national historic landmarks will be preserved; others probably will be torn down. The city is expected to develop its section for retail and other uses.

Balanced budget amendment not proper for U.S. constitution

The ballyhoo over the GOP's proposed balanced budget amendment is misplaced; it is a statement about government economics which has NO place in the U.S. constitution.
It is a document about governance - how things and branches operate, individual rights and the processes followed. Not one word about any form of economic system (captialism, socialism) is mentioned, other than Congress' appropriations duties that must start in the House of Representatives.
If supporters want such a change, make it the law of the land, with penalties when not accomplished. Otherwise, the whole budget process culd end up in the courts system, which would be a disaster.
The present attempt to adopt such a ridiculous stance is so much farsical political theater and that production should go dark as soon as possible.

What makes your job so superior to others?

I always find it curious why people chomp at the bit to demean those whose paychecks come from a governmental agency. It’s as if those in the “private” sector automatically shine with an air of superiority, opposed to those mere mortals who work their butts off in a different kind of sector.
My dear wife works for the city of Dallas, has to commute 45 minutes each way daily (through traffic acknowledged as some of the worse in the United States), and truly earn a paycheck some 25 percent LOWER than what she made with an international corporation (before said corporation decided to ship her job, plus 2,000 others to India and the Philippines where people work for table scraps). She is college-degreed and one of the better people in her IT field; yet this job is the best she could find offering full-time benefits (but one of the worst medical plans around) and steady income.
Sadly, in her field, the trend is moving towards “contract” (meaning part-time) labor which guarantees nothing and offers no longevity or stability. The only good thing finds the job actually NOT farmed to Manila, Mumbai or some other call center which pay its workers in scraps.
Yet, on talk shrill radio, dead-head television and everywhere else, she is seen as some kind of Hester Prynne, with the scarlet letter “G” emblazoned on her forehead – scorned, castigated, rebuked and emotionally spat upon by ignorant strangers who know nothing of her responsibilities nor the functions of her job. Even worse, these people take such uncaring attitudes – themselves working jobs which, in reality, would be highly insignificant in the grand order of things. Do we NOT have too many lawyers, accountants, nail technicians, dry cleaners, doughnut makers, insurance salesmen/women, fast food workers or “account managers” in the country today?
In the current economic state of affairs, too many Americans believe they are better than others – a flight of such hubris as to be the death of us all (as a society and nation). There are citizens – some down on their luck, some suffering from illnesses (physical, mental and/or addiction), or some because accidental placement of birth – seen as LESS worthy of compassion. Too many among us would rather contribute available charity to mega-churches, supplementing the lavish lifestyle of some slick-talking televangelists, than to move money which would actually do something of value for those who cannot help themselves.
For example, in my community (Plano, Texas), frightened protesters ran a homeless shelter out of town before a spade of dirt could be turned, all based on unfounded rumors, innuendo and lies … but mostly because of fear of the unknown. Critics kept claiming the city and shelter would be overrun by drunks, drug addicts and derelicts when the facts showed that residents would actually resemble their neighbors … because THAT’S the new face of homelessness in the U.S. More and more, middle-class families are being forced out of their homes because of long-term unemployment and bankrupting debt due to illness, hospitalization and the inability to cover living expenses like mortgages, rent, credit cards, food, car payments, etc.
Even worse, there are politicians seeking to be part of the very thing they despise – the government. As Groucho Marx correctly said, “I would never join a club that would have me as a member.” If you hate, to your very core, the federal government and ALL it represents, why in the world would you want to join it? Perhaps the answer lies in the enticement – power, rather than money (although congressional perks and benefits are quite a haul).
It’s difficult for me to listen to someone like Michelle Bachman deliver her diatribe against government when she was the recipient, for years, of the public’s tax money, serving as an IRS lawyer, helping to file suit for back taxes against her fellow Americans. I’m sure she cashed her checks like the rest of us, in order to pay the household bills.
We also demean the very people who established this nation – not the improperly sainted “Founding Fathers” – but the immigrants who came, by ship and by foot, to populate the “New World.” The United States has always been dependent upon new faces from different places to build the country in all facets of development.
Alas, our anger about temporary economic valleys is, again, directed to those who see the U.S.A. in a different hue – as a place of greater and grander opportunity for self-betterment (and for one’s family). Those who degrade these newcomers still expect them to fulfill the unwanted, menial tasks required to make the wheels of progress continue to spin. It’s just so hypocritical.
Everyone in this world, everyone in this country-state-county-city, has a purpose and role to play – at home, in church and at work. Appreciating for one’s work and another’s contributions go a long way to providing prosperity, peace and unity. I appreciate what my wife contributes to our household and to her employer; she does quality work and deserves her compensation.
Any other attitude only divides and is cruel and demeaning. Is that what our society has come to? So the question to be asked, for everyone, is this: what if it was YOU?

America's nightmare is over!

The nightmre that has engulfed America is finally OVER! Glenn Beck is no longer on the air, after today, on Fox News Channel. He's gone and might well be forgotten as soon as possible.
No more tin-foiled conspiracies to babble about for an hour; gone will be the talk of survivalist preparation, anti-Semetic/racist rants and labeling everyone NOT in alignment with Beck's strange religious vision as anti-American.
Our national discourse is better for his disappearance.
Don't let the bomb shelter door hit you in the ass, Glenn, on your way out.

The most subversive new show on TV

Without question, th most subversive new show on television this summer, or any other season, is FX's dark comedy, "Wilfred," about a troubled man and the neighbor's dog, whom he envisions as a pot-smoking, swearing Aussie man.

It is brutally funny, nasty and intriguing - the sort of stuff that actually belongs on HBO. It ain't "Lassie" and it ain't a version of "Harvey" ... unless it's penned by the guys who give us "South Park."

FX has grown by leaps and bounds as a network, and includes one of my top five shows - "Justified." Keep up the good, nasty, work.

The man who was 'Columbo' dead at 83

Our fading generation lost another fine actor when it was announced that Peter Falk, best known for his TV role as "Columbo," the dithering yet undaunted detective, died at the age of 83.
He was more than "Columbo," having earned two Oscar nominations for Best Supporting Actor, including his role in a great yet unappreciated Frank Capra movie, "Pocketful of Miracles." People might remember Falk also played the story-reading grandfather in "The Princess Bride."
His work with the best buddy, John Cassavettes produced two brilliant pieces of cinematic acting, "A Woman Under the Influence," and "Husbands," with Cassavettes and the other mini-Rat Packer, Ben Gazzara.
He WILL be missed.

'Charlie Brown' sings no more...

The world of rock and roll music lost a great pioneer with the announcement of the death of singer Carl Gardner, leader of the LEGENDARY 50s group, The Coasters, at the age of 83.
A native of Tyler, Texas, Garner's distinctive voice was heard of such classics as "Charlie Brown," "Poison Ivy," "Young Blood," "Searchin'" and "Yakety Yak." They were great rock and roll songs, wonderfully humorous and were the standard bearers for one of the all-time greatest songwriting duos, Mike Leiber and Jerry Stoller. Each song was like a small vignette and The Coasters, on stage, were often more comedy troupe than quartet.
But make NO mistake, they could sing. Originally formed in Los Angeles as The Robins, doing two of the great old R&B numbers, "Riot in Cell Block Number Nine" and "Smokey Joe's Cafe," they changed to The Coasters in 1955.
How important WERE they? They were the first R&B vocal group inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987.
Rest in Peace, Carl Gardner...

The passing of the "Gray Fox"

Detroit Tigers fans, of which I am one, are mourning the loss of 1968 World Series hero/outfielder Jim Northrup, who died Wednesday at the age of 71, following a long battle with arthritis and Alzheimer's.

The man called "The Gray Fox" by his teammates was a mainstay for the 1968 Tigers, hitting 21 HRs and driving in 90 runs; his play forced manager Mayo Smith to make a radical lineup change. Smith moved Northrup to CF, keeping veteran Al Kaline in the lineup and placin CF Mickey Stanley at SS (where he had never played in the majors) in place of light-hitting Ray Oyler.
The result was a spectacular Word Series for Northrup, slamming two home runs, including a Game 6 grand slam (one of FOUR on the 1968 season, including slams in back-to-back at-bats). But it was his seventh-inning drive in Game 7, which sailed over the head of All-Star CF Curt Flood, resulting in a two-run triple, that produced the World Series winning runs - called the biggest hit in Tiger history.
He was a Michigan native (Breckenridge) who went to a small Michigan college (Alma) and playd for the home state team. He was elected to the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame in 2000 and remained dear to the heart of EVERY genuine Tiger fan.
He was a childhood hero and part of the greatest sports team I EVER saw. Rest in peace, Foxy.

R.I.P. Marshal Dillon

God rest the soul of an American television legend - actor James Arness, alias "Gunsmoke" lead Marshal Matt Dillon, dead today at the age of 88.
His other claim to movie fame was his portrayal of the carrot-looking monster in the camp classic "The Thing from Anotehr World," and later in "Them."
But from 1955-1975, the 6-7 actor (brother of the late Peter Graves) reigned as lord over the American West in the mythical Dodge City - with the likes of Festus, Miss Kitty, Doc Adams and Chester.
His talent and staying power will never been seen again.