Texas by the turn signal light - Day 3

Her two right feet
No matter how thorough the job of trip packing is executed, something always goes wrong. You forget an item, Fido is left all alone, no one turned off the lights in the closet or hallway or readjusted the thermostat.
You forget even though you talked about it a million-plus times and might have even written it down on a long “to-do” list, which included an item that read: “Finish the to-do list.”
And when you forget, or discovered what you forgot, there is always a sterling moment of embarrassment – which my lovely wife sums up in this perfectly crafted phrase:
“OK, go ahead and shoot me!”
No one is drawing any weapons but you know exactly how she feels. You feel stupid and just want to be put out of your misery because packing for a long trip is just that – misery, pure and simple.
You can never bring enough and you always bring too much. No vehicle is equipped to handle the entire contents of the local Target store and suitcase hauling from car to room should NOT be an event in the World’s Strongest Man Contest.
Well, my wife, bless her heart, pulled a classic. She unpacks her suitcase, searching for her tennis shoes to wear today and, lo and behold, she discovers that she has a pair of … right-footed shoes. Twin daughters of different mothers.
“OK, go ahead and shoot me!” she says.
“Honey, how in the world did you do that? They don’t even look the same.” I gently inquired, endeavoring to speak from under muffled but uncontrollable laughter.
“Because when I got them, the closet was dark.”
Ummmmm, make sense, I guess. So why was the closet light off?
“Because it wasn’t on,” she glared as if I had asked the most stupid question, like EVER!
But honey, didn’t you look at them before packing?
“No, why would I?”
Uh, because they were both for your right foot?
“OK, go ahead and shoot me!”
Luckily, there was a Target next door to the hotel and replacements were … Lord can it be true … on sale!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jodie told the story to the sales clerk and found a better audience than I. The clerk didn’t laugh and congratulated her on making such a wise, money-savings purchase.
Another example of the difference between men and women: no man would have confessed to a sales clerk or would have been congratulated for having brought two right shoes.
Which is why women shop and men just buy.
OK, go ahead and shoot me!