Gentlemen: the two most important words …

This short piece is for all you brides-to-be; you need to cut this out and hand-deliver it to your prospective grooms. Make him/them read it, memorize it and recite it later ... and often.
Gentlemen, the two most important words you need to know about your upcoming nuptials are NOT “I do!”
They are “Yes, honey!”
Repeat them. “Yes, honey!”
You will be saying that phrase far more often than you know and it will be the correct thing to utter each and every time. You need to understand, in advance, that you will be agreeing to almost everything your woman wants on her special day because … it’s HER day – not yours.
As a father and a married man (twice actually), a wedding is for, and about, and produced, by the bride. It’s her day to shine and you merely need to see her in all the radiance possible. On that day, it will be as good as it can be (with the possible exception of the birth of your first child together).
Your job, despite what any wedding planner tells you, is 1) show up on time; 2) be respectful to what’s hap­pen­ing; 3) please be sober; 4) make sure your buddies are sober; and 5) make sure you have the ring and license! Afterwards, make sure you’ve got everything packed for the honeymoon, all documents secured (tickets, traveler’s checks and passports) and the gas tank is filled.
Don’t worry about the cake (unless you’re allergic), the seating arrangements (unless you’re a Hatfield and she’s a McCoy), the flower arrangements (unless you’re in the business) or the color of the bridesmaid dresses (unless you designed them). And stay clear of the future mother-in-law because she’s usually on a mission and you’ll get run over like Earl Campbell used to knock over defensive backs for the Houston Oilers.
The best idea you can “insist” upon is the hiring of a professional wedding photographer. Letting “Uncle Bob” take the pictures is an instant recipe for disaster and your bride will cry for the rest of her life, and yours, if her wedding photos are lacking or horrid … or missing. While saving money at every possible turn is preferable, this is where the budget needs to allow for leeway.
Because … you know about that “’til death do us part” part? Knowing that you could have prevented a wrong-footed start to a lifetime together tends to avoid that slippery “part.”
Gentlemen, also a few good suggestions for your pre-wedding behavior. If you feel the urge and need to have a rollicking bachelor party, do it at least 2-3 days BEFORE the wedding. That way there will be plenty of time to … recover. And don’t strive to do embarrassing, wild activities that you will regret when they are later seen on YouTube. Again, that dastardly “part” part tends to rear its head.
As a father and groom, I cannot emphasize the need to conserve money. Trust me, you’ll need it when you begin the marriage and start living together under one roof. Even if you each bring your belonging to merge as one household, there will be plenty missing and, to quote the great philosopher Chico Marx, “That runs into money.” I guess I’m kind of frugal but you can produce a life-long memory without busting the bank account.
But if she wants something bad enough, men, you must go back to those two words, “Yes, honey!” in order to survive. You will soon realize your life will dwindle into two word conversations. Your parts will be:
“How come?”
“How much?”
“Say what?”
“And because?”
“Yes, honey!”