Sunday, January 25, 2009

All you need is LOVE

“Going to the chapel
And we’re gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love.”

– The Dixie Cups

When my wife and I were married 7 ½ years ago, the ceremony was conducted by a minister, who wasas gay as you could imagine, and involved in a long-standing marriage with his partner. His being homosexual did not affect our decision to gert married whatsoever; it wasn't a guide nor deterrent to our future. The vows exchanged were just between us – regardless of what others said, felt and desired.
Hell, my son spenidng the night in the Navarro County Jail for a past seat-belt violation posed more of a problem than anything else.
But the minister being married to a man????????? Puh-lese!
So I view any debate (past, present or future) over so-called “gay marriage” as a crock of crap. I simply don’t understand all the hue and cry against permitting two people – two souls, two hearts – from enjoying the same legal protections as a man and a woman.
Is the ability to procreate the singular barrier for acceptance? Because, as we all know, you don’t have to get married to fuck and have children. Conversely, not all married couples have kids; not all of them SHOULD have children. That's a tunnel-visioned judgment call.
To see and read BOTH sides of this issue – about California’s bullshit Proposition 8 (an abomination to be sure because it denies a right granted by the courts), Rick Warren saying a prayer (it was JUST a fucking prayer - not an Executive Order), gay adoption (I know MANY gay couples who make better parents than so-called straight couples) or how society is headed to Hell in a handbasket (like unprevoked war and genocide is even comaprable) – makes my head (and heart) hurt.
When you boil the issue down to its core, it is about one thing – love. In too many incidents, not enough of that commodity is being exhibited.
Look, I have no problem with a “religious” ban against such practices. If a church does not wish to marry same-sex couples, it is the rightful prerogative of that institution to do so; there’s simply NO room to complain or protest. If you belong to a church; then you follow its teachings … or else, get the hell out. Them there's the rules.
But marriage is really a legal/secular contract. A justice of the peace (regardless of religious or political affiliation) can do the exact same damn job, the result of which is registered in a courthouse and whose dissolution runs through that same secular course – no minister to be seen. No church can say a freaking peep.
Here’s a fact of life – you can’t legislate love (no matter how often some Neanderthal-thinking legislators try to do, especially HERE in Texas, often the Republic of Idiocracy). You cannot demand automatic adherence to another person’s (or group’s) dogma when it comes to the individual heart – before the ceremony … or prior to a divorce. But we've got folks, thinking with their wallets for political gain, trying their damnest to tell others what in the fuck to do with their lives when they can't properly run their own.
And before I am inundated with a flood of Biblical spew, to the contrary, spare me your righteousness. Christians cannot even agree among themselves about the “meaning” of Biblical passages. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many denominations, or pastors, with their own viewpoints about the same exact wording. And, lo and behold, all too often, it is do as I say, not as I do ... right Rev. Haggard?
God gave men and women the power to reason but … love isn’t reasonable. Hate, the polar opposite of love, is just as unreasonable. For so many to spew so much hate, over feelings of the heart, is beyond my mortal comprehension. Frankly, it sucks and it's embarrassing.
What I DO understand are a person’s rights, and in this country, everyone has the right to be happy. Being married to the person of your choice should be such an inalienable right. If you deny that particular right, it won’t be long before someone, or some group, decides to deny more of your rights – to travel freely, to speak freely, to hold religious belief freely. One misstep can place you on a greased slide downward – without any control as to when it stops.
"And there was no one left when they came for me..."
If you believe your marriage, and that of anyone else in this land, is adversely threatened because people of the same gender want to live in a bond of love, then, folks, then your union is already damaged. And it’s TOO fucking late to blame other people for your problems.
My wife and I will celebrate our eighth anniversary in September, and our ninth Valentine’s Day together. We enjoy that Hallmark holiday because of what it signifies – love for one another.
Regardless of who you are. Gay, straight, mixed-up, screwed-up or whatever.
You have the God-given right to be HAPPY!


Anonymous said...

A lot of hate in that blog from a guy who labels anyone who disagrees with his position as hateful.

The legal issues you raise are moot because civil unions take care of that. The issue is the word "marriage".

And putting up a straw man that only religious people are against gay marriage is lame. Is there gay marriage in African tribes? No. There are many cultures in the world with laws not stemming from The Bible who do not agree with gay marriage.

Can a Christian girl have a Bar Mitzvah? Of course not. Why? Because Bar Mitzvah, by definition, is a Jewish ceremony for the coming of age of Jewish males.

But Bar Mitzvah isn't performed by the state, you say. Exactly! Why is the state performing a religious ceremony? That is the question.

Get the state out of the marriage business and this issue is moot.

Frankly, I find people on the left complaining about people on the right telling them how to live their lives as very funny, not that gay marriage is a left/right issue since a LOT of people on the left voted against gay marriage in California and the Democratic Party's President of the United States is against gay marriage.

It is the left telling everyone else on a daily basis how to live their life. I can't turn on the TV without finding someone on the left telling me what temperature to set my thermostat, what kind of light bulbs I should use, what kind of food I should eat, which stores I should shop at, what kind of clothes I should wear (no leather), how much toilet paper I should wipe with, what kind of car I should drive, where I should get my pet, what WORDS I SHOULD USE, what history I should know...

Chuck B. said...

Apparently the same person has been busy reading this blog ... congratulations of havign the ability to read.
As for marriage, it isn't about Bar Mitzvahs (or BAT Mitzvah whch is the correct term used for females who go through that ceremony - goyem dunderhead!). It is about love and no church should place secular barriers in that path.
And not everyone in this world, who IS married, believes in God or religion ... yet they should be able to marry through free will (sadly the opposite of most dogmatic relgiious beliefs).

Anonymous said...

"As for marriage, it isn't about Bar Mitzvahs (or BAT Mitzvah whch is the correct term used for females who go through that ceremony - goyem dunderhead!)."

Yes, that went over your head. That's the whole point I was making - they are both religious ceremonies defined by sex.

And you missed another point I made, or ignored it - there is a huge number of non-religious people against gay marriage, yet you continue to spread the false idea that it's only "dogmatic" religious folks in the way of gay marriage.

Chuck B. said...

I would bloggers like this anonymous guy would actualy speak to things he KNOWS. I'm a Jew and was NEVER Bar Mitzvahed. It does NOT make me less than a Jew.
And if I were gay (I'm not) and I wanted to get married (I am), my orientation should not make any difference.
It isn't about religion; it's about love. But when religious dogma interferes with other people's lives, it should be a crime to humanity. I don't give a fuck what anyone ELSE believes; I am my own man and what I believe is WHAT I believe. No one has the goddman right to demand that I believe differently.
That's NOT anger; that's the fucking truth. Deal with it, Mister No Name.

Chuck B. said...

P.S. - I've posted my e-mail elsewhere on this blog site. Treasure hunt it and come out of the closet.

Anonymous said...

"I'm a Jew and was NEVER Bar Mitzvahed. It does NOT make me less than a Jew."

You still don't get it. The point was religious ceremonies are obviously defined by sex. Saying that marriage isn't defined by sex is ignorant. It most definitely is.

You don't have a ballot initiative saying that Bar Mitzvah should be available to everyone because it's a religious ceremony that doesn't have anything to do with the state.

That's how marriage has been for hundreds of thousands of years until government got into the marriage business.

This isn't a religious issue, though you continue to want everyone to believe that it's just religious people who are against gay marriage even though I pointed out that cultures all over the world ban gay marriage for reasons not based on religion and lots of non-religious people in the USA voted against gay marriage.

My point was the state should get out of the marriage business altogether and if some church wants to do gay marriage, they are free to do it.

"But when religious dogma interferes with other people's lives, it should be a crime to humanity"

Versus left-wing dogma?

"I am my own man and what I believe is WHAT I believe. No one has the goddman right to demand that I believe differently."

That's why I said the state should get out of the marriage business.

Chuck B. said...

Ladies and gentlemen, the problem with blogging is that you "invite" any dimwit to comment based on their own ignorance, which they believe to be the truth ... or reality.
My point is not about ceremonies as defined by gender; it is to note that some bogus cermeony does not DEFINE who you are.
I wasn't married in a church, yet I AM married. I didn't need some damn church's permission - I needed a state-issued license ... because, later on, my marital status will determine other governmental decisions (taxes, divorce, child support, etc.).
I don't want the government dictating too many happenings in my life (I choose to live n this nation so I need to abide by its laws), but I certainly don't want ANY church to tell me to do a single thing to do while I am on earth.
And most other nations on earth do not have the alleged openness about religious practice as does the U.S. One way or another those citizens live under some kind of religious rule. We, supposedly, don't but far too many people are pushing us to that end.
I will say this again - marriage is NOT a religious ceremony. Otherwise, it would ONLY be performed in a house of worship. Obviously, many are not, so there. End of discussion.

Anonymous said...

Why is the government marrying people? Why does the government list you as married versus single at all? Why should you pay more taxes because you are married versus single?

Again, get the government out of the marriage business and this point is moot and marriage goes back to being just a religious ceremony like other religious ceremonies that are not regulated by the government.

"I will say this again - marriage is NOT a religious ceremony. Otherwise, it would ONLY be performed in a house of worship."

I see, so the Jewish Bris is not a religious ceremony? LOL