“Why do we never get an answer
When we’re knocking at
the door?
With a thousand million
questions
About hate and death and
war."
–
The Moody Blues
…
and football.
In
all honesty, the less said about last Saturday’s soggy dismantling of the
non-Fighting Illini by Michigan, the better. Hell, the score never fully
indicated the complete domination in all aspects of the game; at 45-0, it
wasn’t even THAT close!
Yes,
yes, U-M quarterback Denard Robinson continued the impressive new-look
methodical offense for Michigan (he ran for 128 on just 11 carries, threw for
159 yards on 7 of 11 attempts and scared the bejeebers out of 110,000 fans with
what might have been a “finger stinger” midway through the second quarter).
Yes,
yes, fans actually got to see sophomore Thomas Rawls finally display his
considerable talent (nine carries for 90 yards, including a 63 yard rumble to
the end zone), and there was even a Justice Hayes sighting on the pitch (10
carries for 66 yards).
Did
I just say “pitch?” Am I watching too much Barclays Premier League Soccer?
Of
course, the Wolverine defense, led by an All-American performance by sophomore
Jake Ryan (11 tackles, 1 ½ sacks) and a superb effort from linebacker Kenny
Demens, chewed up and spat out the most anemic offense in the Big 10 (perhaps
the nation). Illini was permitted just 29 yards passing and just 105 yards
rushing on 37 carries in a performance that would have shamed most Pop Warner teams.
And
when you add lifelessness to the equation, it was no wonder that a large
percentage of the Homecoming crowd bolted for high and dry grounds by the end
of the third quarter (didn’t the alums just die to reminisce about dreary
October afternoon in the City of Trees?).
It’s
been a long time since a conference team flew the flag of surrender so early as
did Illinois; when head coach Tim Beckman chose NOT to challenge a lost fumble
at the Illini 6 (or at least seek an official’s review of a borderline call at
best), everyone in the stadium knew the final 18 minutes was the equivalent of
pure garbage time.
In
almost any collegiate game, the opposition makes the contest and Illinois never
bothered to leave Champaign. Hence, it was a one-sided affair – pleasing to the
U-M fans but less-than-stellar as competition.
I
quickly discovered that making brilliant observations was not the order of the
day, from my La-Z-Boy, so I started jotting down random thoughts and questions
(not always about Michigan football mind you) that begged for answers:
Q:
You think there was ANY thought of using Devin Gardner as the quarterback when
Robinson went to the sidelines in what appeared to be agonizing pain? Or did
the crowd begin to see what the Wolverines will be in 2013 A.D. (after Denard)?
Q:
Anyone else seen just about enough of hot pink on uniforms, pom poms, referees
– you name it? Can we honor the cause without ALL the misplaced color schemes?
Q:
Whatever happened to Band Day at Michigan Stadium, when 25,000 high school players
were in the stands and on the field for halftime, creating the largest marching
band in the world?
Q:
Who agrees with the fashion premise that football uniform pants, unless dressed
in primarily white, should NEVER be the same color as the jersey tops?
Q:
How far has Auburn fallen, just two years removed from an undefeated national
title?
Q:
Does it simply feel wrong to see West Virginia battle for the Big 12
championship?
Q:
Why does the Big 12 have only 10 members and the Big 10 have 12 members, yet
the conference names don’t change?
Q:
Why does the NCAA allow overtime plays to count as game statistics, even when
the clock doesn’t run, but two-point conversion, and yardage associated with
that action, is not recorded … for the same reason?
Q:
Why is Tom Harmon’s number 98 NOT included in the group of “legacy” uniforms
being honored? And when it does, can I get Mark Harmon’s autograph? (By the
way, the Wisterts’ number 11 should go to Jeremy Gallon; an offensive player is
needed for that numeral).
Q:
Is there anything more disgusting than the Southern Comfort TV commercial with
the oiled-up, balding guy with the beer gut on the beach in his Speedos,
showing off his package?
Q:
Why does Notre Dame deserve such high praise and ranking when, in the final minute,
at the Stanford 5, the Irish played … for a tie (instead of an outright
victory)?
And
finally, Q: When, or when, will the Michigan public relations people produce a
new, updated PSA to show during college football telecasts instead of the same
old, same old images U-M has employed for the last FIVE years?
If
you’ve got the answers, I’d love to hear them; it would have added some life to
what was a rather mundane (frankly, boring) football game.
“It’s not the way that you say it
When you do those things
to me.
It’s more the way you
really mean it
When you tell me what
will be.”
----
Look who’s coming for
dinner? Sparty on a platter
When
you discuss college football rivalries, the annual contest between Michigan and
Michigan State is on the relatively short list of rivalry games that normally
matter. And this Saturday, Michigan will face the first of back-to-back
contests to see if it will be in Indianapolis on Dec. 1 to play for the
conference crown.
For
some reason, this “marquee” game has been relegated to the less-watched,
less-acquired Big Ten Network at 3:30 p.m. (local time, 2:30 p.m. in my living
room). I cannot comprehend why the Illinois yawner was on the ABC/ESPN rotation
last week, but this contest will not be there.
We
have discussed the meaning of a “rival” before and will do so later on in this
piece, but first, let’s examine the three keys to victory over the Spartans
(4-3, 1-2) are:
1)
Stop the “Bell” from ringing;
2)
Let the front lines eat more Soylent (or Sparty) Green;
3)
Don’t just beat them; BURY THEM six feet under!
Michigan
State has become, week after week, so one-dimensional, it has taken it out of
ANY serious Big 10 title contention … and it’s just through Week 3. Many U-M
fans would have sworn it would have taken a week or two longer, but Sparty has
no teeth, except for its fine running back, Le’Veon Bell, who has run for 916
yards on 200 carries and eight touchdowns.
However,
he CAN be stopped; three teams have held him in check – Central Michigan (70
yards), Notre Dame (77 yards) and Ohio State (45 yards). Bell IS MSU’s entire
ground game; against Iowa, all other ball carriers ran 10 times for nine yards.
By comparison, for the first time this season, quarterback Denard Robinson
accounted for a shade over one-third of Michigan’s 353 total rushing yards. The
shock of shocks saw three halfbacks (Fitzgerald Toussaint, Thomas Rawls and
Justice Hayes) rush 37 times between them for 218 yards. Be still my beating
heart!
And
if Bell isn’t able to grind out yardage, MSU must go to the erratic passing
game of junior Andrew Maxwell (139 of 256 for 1,607 yards, just six touchdowns,
four interceptions and 10 sacks).
For
all that, State is just 3-4 on the year and in serious trouble to advance to ANY
kind of bowl game, let alone repeat as Big 10 championship finalist. No, that
fantasy is over-and-out!
To
win, Michigan must continue its dominance on the offensive and defensive lines
it has displayed in the first two conference games. In going less to the
stretch-the-field passing attack, and more to a control aerial game (nine
different Wolverines caught passes against Illinois and no individual mad more
than one reception), it has allowed Robinson to make better decisions and
forced defenders to either follow his feet or watch his arm (they cannot do
both).
On
defense, all focus should be on stopping Bell and pressuring Maxwell, whose
mobility is limited. Both points of attack should produce turnovers, which will
help decide the contest. If Jake (No Hope) Ryan can continue to sublet space in
the opposition backfield, it will be a sorrowful day for Sparty.
Finally,
there is an element of revenge for Michigan; it’s been five years since the
Wolverines walked off the field with Sparty’s scalp in hand. No senior has seen
victory over the school which considers Michigan to be its biggest rival.
Sparty
has been doing a lot of trash talking and tweeting in past weeks and it is time
to wipe the cockiness off that mascot’s smirk. If it were 56-0, I might
consider calling off the dogs … ah, probably not. The boys from East Lansing
need a good lesson in respect and Saturday is the day to do it.
Which
leads back to the subject of rivalries. As said, Michigan is MSU’s BIGGEST
on-schedule rival, while Ohio State holds that title in Ann Arbor. Sparty is A
big rival, but not THE team upon which the definition lies – the one opponent
for whom the outcome of one’s season usually depends. A team can go undefeated
against other schools, but multiple losses to THE rival often means a coaching
change until that man, who CAN beat that bloody team, can be found.
I,
and millions of others, firmly believe that Michigan-Ohio State is the premier rivalry
in college football (as Duke-UNC stands alone for college basketball). There
are other very relevant yearly matchups – Texas-Oklahoma, Auburn-Alabama,
Army-Navy, Harvard-Yale, Stanford-California, Florida-Georgia, Oklahoma-Oklahoma
State and Oregon-Oregon State.
These
games often decide championships but always attract the attention of any fan,
regardless of location. The tradition and history behind all of those
encounters help define the journey of college football.
But
in the past few years, too many institutions have leap-frogged conference, and
rivals, to sniff out the endless waterfall of money being poured into the
system as if it were a Presidential campaign … and the victims have been
followers of certain teams.
Down
here in the Southwest, the departure of Texas A&M to the SEC has effectively
ended one of the great rivalries with the University of Texas. So bitter are
feeling between the two schools, and its alumni base, that the Aggie War Hymn,
A&M official fight song, goes out of its way to disparage its cross-state
rivals.
“That
is the song they sing so well
Sounds
Like Hell
So
good bye to texas university
We’re
gonna beat you all to Chigaroogarem
Chigaroogarem
Rough,
Tough, Real stuff, Texas A&M
Saw
varsity’s horns off
Saw
varsity’s horns
Varsity’s
horns are sawed off.”
No
one has expressed a willingness to change “texas university” into Auburn or Ole
Miss. But it makes no sense to sing those lyrics in Kyle Field when LSU comes
to town this weekend.
For
more than 100 years, around Thanksgiving
weekend, those two schools squared off in Austin or College Station – in games
played morning, noon or night; in conditions ranging from tornado warnings to
stifling Indian summer heat. But not anymore … Texas plays Texas Christian this
coming holiday and A&M meets … Missouri. Ho hum.
And
there are no plans, whatsoever, for the two school to re-ignite that rivalry –
not for at least the next decade and who knows? Congress just might outlaw the
sport on grounds of its physical danger (much like the NFL is trying to do to
itself).
This
conference shape-shifting has cost other longtime rivalries, such as
Texas-Arkansas, Nebraska-Oklahoma, Penn State-West Virginia, and Penn
State-Pitt. And now, Michigan and Notre Dame. Sorry, I told you it was NEVER a
serious rivalry because the series had been interrupted more than once for the
same reason – money. If you are a real rival, you don’t cancel your contract by
surreptitiously slipping a note to the opposing athletic director a few minutes
before kickoff .. as if you’re doing should to be ashamed of.
One
of the problems is for a school to be without a true rival on its schedule, as
is the case with the Irish. Do rivals extend back to Knute Rockne, or just to
the time of Ara Parseghian? Notre Dame plays many good teams, but only at its
(or NBC’s) convenience.
A
few rivalries could use some oxygen to be resuscitated – the Florida-Florida State-Miami
troika, USC-UCLA or Arizona-Arizona State (if they would stop changes coaches
every other week). Most “tense” in-state rivalries only hold the interest of those
in attendance (Ole Miss-Mississippi State, anyone playing Texas Tech, Iowa-Iowa
State, Kansas-Kansas State).
It
is getting more difficult for ESPN to promote “Rivalry Week” to its viewers
because they are becoming extinct. Unless it is willing to give airtime to
Lafayette and Lehigh (the oldest actual gridiron rivalry), it will have to artificially
create what it knows not to be true.
And
this Saturday, the biggest rivalry game, in the Big House, is on … BTN!
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