Monday, October 31, 2005

The Halloween rules!

In Plano, the upper middle class uber-suburb outside of Dallas where I live, the following story is quite true. It shows the kind of arrogance about its children that should not be permitted.
Last night (Sunday), at dinnertime, the doorbell rang.
Three children stood in front and yelled "Trick or treat?"
"What are you doing here tonight?" I asked. "It's not Halloween!"
"Well, we decided to go tonight because it MIGHT rain tomorrow and we didn't want to get our candy wet," they answered.
My wife gave them each a piece of Tootsie Roll (one of my former favorites since I am a diabetic and cannot even sniff the bag) and I sulked away, upset that the RULES had been broken for candy greed.
Here are those rules in my mind:
Rule No. 1 - Trick or treating ONLY on Halloween night - regardless of what night it falls.
Rule No. 2 - No porch light means no one home (ours was off by the way). Don't go to that house and bother people. Not everyone wants to participate.
Rule No. 3 - No one over 12 should get a darn thing. You're old enough; leave the stuff for the little ones.
Rule No. 4 - No harem costumes for girls who are ... shall we say ... more mature for their age than others. Sex does NOT sell at Halloween.
Rule No. 5 - No candy for children who don't have teeth!!! If they cannot walk on their own, why are parents SO insistent of dragging 1 or 2 year olds in hot costumes when they should be sleeping? It's as bad as giving birthday parties for toddlers who have no idea what is happening!
Rule No. 6 - Stop giving children the equivalent of Godiva bars! It's bad enough that they will consume so much sugar as to get sick, have a mouthful of cavities and simply make a mess with melted chocolate smeared all over the house. Showing much YOU can spend on them is not the right thing to do.
Rule No. 7 - Trick or treating time should NOT begin before 6 p.m. and not go past 9 p.m. Period.
Rule No. 8 - The weather is the weather - deal with it. I did it in the freezing cold and early Michigan snow.
Rule No. 9 - No repeats. Once you've been to a house, you can't repeat. Once you're gone, you can't come back (out of the blue and into the black).
Rule No. 10 - Parents should have to walk with their children as protectors and supervisors. You don't let them loose on neighborhoods and you still with a Starbucks or enjoy a smoke.
Anyone want to disagree or add anything?

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